A brave single guy ventures out to look for love in a really wrong place… The netherworld.
No one claims that dating these days is easy – some might even suggest that today's social scene is just plain dead. So when the “live ones” get away from you at the gym or the club, you may have to start looking elsewhere to find that special someone. The hotties of the past may be out of your league, but hey, it's not like they're getting a lot of play these days…
PART 4 – MAKIN' TIME WITH MARILYN
When I went to pick up Marilyn Monroe at her hideaway bungalow, she was completely naked except for her signature mole. Talk about first impressions! As she opened the door in her birthday suit, I felt like the President. Marilyn immediately flashed me a big smile, along with everything else. “As you can see, rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated -- and they're just not true, either,” she exhaled, inviting me in with her eyes. I didn't wait for a formal invitation!
“Why don't you make yourself at home, while I slip into – something…” she told me, then giggled at her own joke. I sat on her loveseat, blatantly staring as she shimmied into the bedroom, her famous wiggle intact. She came back wearing that famous white dress she wore in “The Seven-Year Itch” – oh, to be a subway grate! Seeing her, I knew why all men liked it hot.
At the bus stop a few hours later -- what, we had to have sex first! -- we tried to decide on a place to eat. I thought she'd prefer haute couture, but Marilyn wanted Sizzler -- a woman after my own digestive tract. “I love this place,” she sang out, loading up her third plate. “Whoever invented the term ‘all you can eat' is my dream man.” After modestly lying to her that it was I who coined the phrase, she initiated a little “monkey business” behind the salad bar. Back at our booth, her kisses flowed like Niagara between plates of pizza and pasta. Between all the food and the fondling, I knew something was going to give, so I quickly swept her away from the soft-serve frozen yogurt machine and called for the check.
We hailed a cab and went in search of “a jumpin' joint!” (Her words, not mine. Remember, she's a '50s chick!) The paparazzi had a field day as Marilyn and I walked in the entrance – you should have seen their shocked expressions! All I remember about the club itself was that we almost had sex on the dance floor and actually did have it in the men's room. She was insatiable!
Back at her place, I asked Marilyn what she wanted to do next, and she said, “Let's Make Love!” I stopped undressing, however, when I saw her popping in a tape of her old movie titled “Let's Make Love.” As the credits rolled, I realized how much this gentleman preferred the blonde next to me. Throwing caution (and fear of commitment) to the wind, I proposed marriage. Unfortunately, Marilyn revealed that she was still hung up on JFK and couldn't accept. She also revealed she had her heart set on marrying a millionaire, which definitely left me out of the running. I even offered to be her best friends, but when she opened her jewelry box and showed me a very friendly collection of diamonds, I knew I didn't have a chance. It was quite a disappointment, but I understood. We just weren't meant to be. After having sex again, I finally took the hint and said goodnight.
It was, without a doubt, the best “dead babe” date of my life... But then again, I really should reserve judgment until I go out with at least a few more deceased celebrities. After all, there are plenty more dead fish in the sea.
Next Time: Part 5 – Strippin' with Salome
AllStar is a writer/photographer currently based in South Florida. He is currently offering a special photo shoot discount to GG models. Send comments, suggestions, and photo shoot requests to AllStar@godsgirls.com.
(Previous parts of Dates With Dead Babes may be found in the archives.)
